Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
