I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
