I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Boobs speak an international language.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize