This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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