the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
