Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
