i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Someone came in the potted fern
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
