You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
