My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
