yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I would ride that face into the sunset
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
