Whoa Z and x make the same sound
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I will be naked everywhere
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
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