He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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