epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
