So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Randomize
