He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
