They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
operation harelip BJ is a go
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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