call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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