Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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