he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
