so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
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