How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
stop calling my apartment porn island.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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