I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
