If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Randomize
