two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Randomize
