Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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