everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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