I want to make a zoo with you.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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