I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
