Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
