so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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