Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
