Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
