i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
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