You just made me feel so damn special
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
