I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
