The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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