There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
