Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I feel like a drive thru vagina
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
