Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
