There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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