Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
