You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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