Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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