well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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