She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
