they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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