Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
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