I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
