is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
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