Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
