It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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