can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
