So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Randomize