You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Randomize
