dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
