Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
We left an ass print on the piano.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
