The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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