U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i was born a porn star she said
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
