can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
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