Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
