He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
